Crap Crap crappity crap

You know how people say things happen in threes (mostly bad)?

Well I know the feeling after this week.

a few bullet points

1) I had an MRI on my head last week, turns out there is a 1.8cm growth in there, lucky me!
2) car faile the MVI (motor vehicle inspection, required every 2 years) going to take a whole ton of money to fix, money I just don't have a way of producing.
3) I am alone again won't go into details here, just to say I. AM. CRUSHED.

So what the hell, Universe? Why is it that just when I feel like I am doing ok the fates have to conspire against me?

I had plans for this winter, to hopefully avoid the depressive state that last winter put me into. I was going to play hockey for the first time in years, well that is a no go, no money for equipment, plus it now costs to play, something new I guess, so that option is out.

As for the POS car, it is not really worth the monry to fix it, but since I consolodated some debt, to lower interest charges, and reduce monthly payments, I owe too much to get rid of the damn thing, so I am stuck with it.

The house that the EX and I share is not selling, so until it does, my monthly load keeps growing.

The weight of all of this is like a beast on my chest, taunting me. Just the way sleep does right now, it is there I can feel it but it remains elusive like sand through my fingers, easy to touch, but hard to grasp and hold on to.

Christmas is fast approaching, and I have little to no funds for gifts, right now I don't even feel like celebrating. I am alone 90% of the nights at home, I asked if I could get a pet but was met with a resounding no. Not even a cat. yippee.

Part of me wants to stay in bed for the rest of my life, it would be easier.

Gotta go now, and try to find a) extra cash or b) a way to dump the 7 year old 200000+ km car for something newer.

Wish me luck.