Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Old Friends

Some time has gone by since I last saw one of my oldest friends, J. J. and I go back to middle school, some 30 years ago. I haven't seen him in 10 years. Even though I lived in the same city as him for the last year, I found the thought of connecting with him hard to take. don't ask me why just did that's all.

In a rare moment of clarity, i decided to call and visit
I meant it to be a quick catch up say hi, see how things went , and take it from there.

Right , seven hours flew by and it was time well spent.

The need to connect with someone other than family must have been stronger than i thought.

Much laughter was had. nostalgia kicked in, talk of old friends who I lost touch with. and some what painful reminders of life in grade 9. where the largest kid in our class thought nothing of stuffing me in the shop room garbage can on a somewhat regular basis. Ahhh........good times.

I wish I could tell you that I was innocent here, and merely a victim, but.... how much of a victim could you be if you antagonize the hell out of someone every chance you get?

I was a wee bit mouthy when i was younger.......wonder where the boys get it.

A quick funny part, maybe not so much, depends on your point of view, funny to me now, not so much then.

We were in math class, which was on the second floor of the school, right above our homeroom, and i was minding my own business ( no really, you gotta take my word for this). Our math teacher was a tad, oblivious, say and when her back was turned, the aforementioned garbage can stuffer, me being the stuffee after all, proceeded to launch, or rather slide my a** out the window. Good thing it was winter, and fresh snow helped.

Now imagine my surprise when our homeroom teacher, a less than stellar example of the profession, caught me on my way back in and proceeded to give me a weeks detention? Did I mention he was the shop teacher?, and that detention meant sweeping out the wood shop floor.

Imagine free child labour, could a teacher even do that these days??

Back to J. He and I were pretty thick for a while, he moved before high school, we kind of lost touch, and then reconnected in our early 20's lost touch when I moved, reconnected briefly, and then reconnected again last night.

as we sat there talking, I saw the old me, the one before all the drama of the past few years, glimmer briefly. While I know the old me may not come fully back, I do realize that the new me that will come out of this (hopefully like a Phoenix from the ashes) may be able to still have the best of the old me. Like software, the new me will probably be like me 2.0 (beta)

So to J. If you are going to read this, thanks for being there last night, and thanks for not quitting on me like I feared so many would do.

Old Friends

Monday, July 5, 2010

Four Years


Have four years really gone by since that day?
It somehow seems longer, but at the same time, shorter.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

I wish you were here to talk to, especially given my current situation. There are things I would want to ask you.

Your grandchildren are amazing, I hope that ou can see them and keep an eye on them. In spite of the chaos of the past year or so they are growing in to fine young men. You would be proud. They all miss you too, in their own ways. Boys are funny like that. when you least expect it something they remember about you comes out.

You were the father I needed when I needed him, does that even make sense? At times when I was growing up, somehow, you were right where I need you to be, saying or doing what I needed.

I was not an easy teenager, not a bad kid, no police trouble or drugs, but I know I was a right moody little S**t at times, and I lashed out at you when I proably shouldn't have. But you were still always there for me.

I have great memories of you with your grandchildren, pictures in my mind and in my heart that spin a tale better than my words can. you were a survivor.

As I got older, moved away, and had kids of my own, our relationship changed, you became something I needed again at times. I still haven't figured out what that is yet, but I think at times, I need it now.

Miss you Dad, Have a cold one for me today, I'll have one for you.