Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The First step

Son1 took his first step on the road to adulthood yesterday, By getting his Learner's permit. He is now able to drive, with of course, me or his mom in the passenger seat.

This day has been coming for some time now, but I find I have mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand I am proud of him, I know he has wanted this for some time, and truth be told, I believe that he will be a good and safe driver, I have no worries about him being stupid or dangerous behind the wheel. He is somewhat cautious and I think his natural tendency to be safe will keep other desires in check. I also believe that he will not succumb to any peer pressure to be stupid when he has his full license.

On the other hand, part of me resists this, he is my son, the first born, and this milestone is one that begins his journey away from us, it seems too soon, in a year he will be in college, and beginning to navigate his life away from us, and making his own way into the world.
It's not that I'm overly worried about him, It's more like I don't like change.

He and I struggled to find a relationship in the aftermath of the separation, and it took time, but we are better now, as he has gotten older, and I have lightened up, we found the common ground that kept us going and the strain between us has lessened. He is a great kid, Scratch that, he is a wonderful young man, and I see the potential in him, untapped, waiting.

Drive safe Son, But always remember, to come home.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

I Don't Think It is That Bad

There are several things that I want to get off my back, and the next couple of posts are going to tackle them.

The first thing, is not necessarily a new thing but I have read and heard about it quite a lot lately so I figured I'd get my two cents in.

Helicopter parents, you know, the ones who won't leave their child alone to do anything for even a minute because well, you know, the world is just so dangerous.

These are the same ones who look at you as if you are the worst parent in the world if you don't subscribe to the same theories that they do, whatever.

People, crime rates are actually down, and unless your child has special needs, there is no reason to constantly hover around them. If you don't let them do things on their own, and occasionally fail, they are never going to learn how to figure things out by themselves.

I know of young men and women, who have joined the military and whose parents are still trying to fix whatever they can for them. Really? I would have been pretty angry with my mom if she had called one of my instructors to see if they would ease up on us so we could get better sleep. Which has happened to a friend of mine. No seriously, a parent called him up to complain that she did not believe that her son was getting enough sleep, because her son mentioned to her that they were so busy with homework, etc that they were not getting to bed before midnight most nights. To his credit my friend handled it gracefully, and refrained from pointing out the obvious, that her son was an adult, and had to learn to handle this on his own.

I have heard and read stories of parents calling universities to complain about their kids grades. I have a news flash for you, the only one responsible for the grade is your child, either they study, and get good grades or they don't and get what they get.

On another web forum I belong to one parent said that if she was at a playground, she would ask parents of older children to stop doing things in front of her children that they couldn't do. Meaning if her kids were not old or physically developed enough to do something she didn't want kids who could to do it out of a fear that her kids would attempt to emulate the older kids. Whatever, good thing that she was never around me at a park, I would have laughed, my youngest tried to emulate his older brothers all the time, I did not try to hold him back, because I think that trying to keep up with them gave him the motivation to try things at an earlier age.

I know some parents who are so scared of the effects of sun that their son is basically covered from head to toe in some kind of full body suit at the beach, might as well stay indoors. Even the experts are saying we need some sun on us for the vitamin D.

Another thing that is getting on my nerves is the commercials for those drinks to ensure your kids are getting enough vitamins, nutrition because they are picky eaters, really, I was a bit of a picky eater when I was a kid, there was no way my mom would have just given me those drinks, I'm not saying I was forced to eat everything, but I was told that I had to try some of everything. Stop catering to the demands of your kid, and do your job as a parent. Letting a miniature tyrant control you is setting a bad precedent.

On a related note, I am tired of hearing from some media outlets about how dangerous and bad teenagers are. I have 3 and they are not bad, neither are their friends, give it a rest already.

Next time, I'll lighten it up with some tales of the goofiest dogs in the world.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Well it has been a while now hasn't it?

Sorry to be away for so long, but I had a very busy and great summer(mostly).

The boys and I spent time camping, fishing, beaching(is that a word?, it is now) sailing and just generally hanging out.

This summer gave me the chance to reacquaint myself with old friends( HI DANA), meet new ones (HI CARMEN) and spend time with people who have known me my whole life, and who I love as much as my parents (SANDRA AND DAN< LOVE YOU BOTH).

The demons that have haunted me for the past 4 years are slowly receding, with the support of friends and family, the dawn is beginning to break, and my life is slowly becoming mine again.

Geez, that was sappy wasn't it on to more happy things.

Dana, it was so great to see you, and to feel as if the years have not passed at all, it was a pleasure to meet your wonderful daughter.

To my sons, thanks for a great summer, the fact that you willingly spent time with me , camping etc, means more to me than you know, you three are the light in my life , the pull that has kept me on the path.

To my siblings, thanks, I cannot believe sometimes, that every single time i have needed you, you have been there.

My brother in law , M, thank you, you are one of my best friends in the world, you have shared your love of sailing, and spread it to my boys as well, you have one of the most generous souls I know.

And finally to Boy1, as you are entering your last year of High School, Enjoy this year, you have grown so much, in some ways the boy is gone, the man in you shines through, and I have to say I like what I see. Stay true to your dreams and beliefs as you always have done, and I have no doubt that you will go far, and shine whatever you choose to do.

Stay tuned, and in the next few posts, I have plans to tackle helicopter parents, stupid reality TV, flying around this country, Newts on the patio, and my mom's dog.

No, not all at once.