Monday, July 5, 2010

Four Years


Have four years really gone by since that day?
It somehow seems longer, but at the same time, shorter.

Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

I wish you were here to talk to, especially given my current situation. There are things I would want to ask you.

Your grandchildren are amazing, I hope that ou can see them and keep an eye on them. In spite of the chaos of the past year or so they are growing in to fine young men. You would be proud. They all miss you too, in their own ways. Boys are funny like that. when you least expect it something they remember about you comes out.

You were the father I needed when I needed him, does that even make sense? At times when I was growing up, somehow, you were right where I need you to be, saying or doing what I needed.

I was not an easy teenager, not a bad kid, no police trouble or drugs, but I know I was a right moody little S**t at times, and I lashed out at you when I proably shouldn't have. But you were still always there for me.

I have great memories of you with your grandchildren, pictures in my mind and in my heart that spin a tale better than my words can. you were a survivor.

As I got older, moved away, and had kids of my own, our relationship changed, you became something I needed again at times. I still haven't figured out what that is yet, but I think at times, I need it now.

Miss you Dad, Have a cold one for me today, I'll have one for you.

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